What’s gwan inna wa cwantry?”
“What language is that?”
“English of course.”
“Sounds like Creole to me. Why don’t you just talk
straight?”
“Nobody talks straight in this country anymore.”
“I still talk straight. I can’t start twisting
my tongue because some people have lost it.”
“Okay, I was asking what is going on in our country?”
“Is that a direct question or a sly comment?”
“Just answer the question”
“What I know is that we are now truly, a country of
hyenas, jackals, and small animals. A big animal kingdom, but when the
First Lady Aisha Buhari drew attention to this, recently, we all started
screaming that she was rather condescending but right now, with what I am
seeing and hearing, I believe she will be vindicated in the long run.”
“I see.”
“We, the people are obviously the small animals. In an
animal kingdom, the bigger animals do what they like with the smaller ones, and
they dare not complain.”
“But you still haven’t answered my question”
“My friend, why must I always be the one to tell you
what is going on in this country? When you want to be mischievous, that is when
you ask funny questions. Are we not in this country together? Don’t you listen
to the news like everyone else? So, why should I become your newspaper and
internet combined. Stop it. But for just this last time, I will use my church
mind to tell you that the latest development is photography as a tool of
governance. Some APC Governors and party leaders just visited President Muhammadu
Buhari in London. They had lunch with him and took photographs.”
“I know about that. I actually saw the photos too. But
the whole thing doesn’t look straight to me.”
“It doesn’t look crooked to me either. People have
been complaining that the President of Nigeria is missing in action and they
need to know that he is still alive. So, they provide a photograph of him
having lunch with his party members and loyalists. How is that a problem for
you? We should be glad that the President is getting well.”
