Mr Mugu!

Mr Mugu! by Derinola Segbedi Tootek

Bonjour, Bon shoe abi na Born July, Guten Morgen, Goedemorgen, buongiorno, Buenos Dias and so on, Well let me “Kaba” myself, I used Google translator to get some of the Good morning though.

UUhhmm!! This month has been very eventful so far for me, Something really funny but painful happened to me on Monday, I stepped out from a restaurant after having my (breakfast/lunch) like around 1 or 2pm, normal time that I eat my first meal every day, I got my shades on, nice perfume on, looking good in the faded jeans and a nice fitted long sleeve, sudden a tatter looking man approached me and stated talking to me, I noticed that he has a Hausa intonation, So as per Mr. Nice guy, I gave him audience, Little did I know that he is a petit money scammer, so these transpired between us,
Petit money scammer: Oga!! Good afternoon, God will bless you…

Senior Mugu Me: (action) Staring at him with a little smile.

Petit money scammer: Oga abeg!! I bi shoe maker and dem KIA (kick against indiscipline) catch me and dem collect all my work equipments and dem collect my money too, make I use bail myself, I need some money to start life back because I won go buy polish, brush and other things, I no bi beggar or lazy man, abeg if u give me like 1,400 naira, I go use am buy all wetin I need and I no go beg anyone again. Omo mo gbabe.. 

Senior Mugu Me: (action) sigh, Dip my hand in my pocket brought out my wallet gave him 500 naira and then walked away, but the petit money scammer kept on following me, E ma gbami, Kini mo ra ni igba bobo ni?

Petit money scammer: Oga thank u, God go bless you, u are a very nice man but I don’t want me beg anyone again, if u can give me the complete money I PROMISE , I no go ask any one again, God go reward u.
He kept on calling God’s name, once again I fell for it,

Senior Mugu Me: Deep Sigh, once again brought out my wallet and added another 500 naira and this tattered man kept me following me, thanking me and praying for me seriously it was becoming embarrassing, because the man won’t just get off my side, he followed me and kept on praying for me.

Petit money scammer: Oga thank you oo.. God bless u, u go see good things, money go come and so on sha.. Na wa oo!!

Fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, my Cousin who I haven’t seen for months was walking vertically toward me and I was trying to tell this man to back off but he refused, then this happened when I met with my cousin (Nephew), Na God way won catch am now.. Lmao

Senior Mugu Me: How far brof? And we shook hands.

Nephew: Where u sabi dis man?

Senior Mugu Me: I acted like nothing has happen between us and I was speechless.

Nephew: Bro. don’t fall for his trick o!! He will tell u one KIA and his shoe maker story, I hope you haven’t given him money.

Senior Mugu Me: (I just faced the wretch) and I said with a fierce look, “GIVE ME MY MONEY!!!”. (Eru ba) fear catch am, he handed the money over and walked away.

Seriously I Felt like slapping him just because of 2 reasons, He Constantly called GOD’s name and used the word PROMISE, Those are 2 very strong words, I used the word promise if I really mean it and I think it’s only my Girl friend that I use that word “PROMISE” for because I always mean what I tell her and I don’t used God’s name at all, I rather say “I MEAN IT” But this riffraff/wretch used the word anyhow and I feel for it because I can’t just imagine someone calling God’s name in Vein (It’s Absurd) or is it because I am a very compassionate person, uummhhh.. I was fooled big time but I got my money back sha. Emi nor!! Senior mugu, yepa!!! Ori mi ooo!!
Well that’s all folks, have a lovely midweek and new month, Stay blessed.